Like people, cats have varying levels of this ability. The good news is, for both humans and cats, is that we can learn, and enhance, this vital skill.
We might call it Landing on our Feet.
What are the factors which can create, and increase, our cat’s ability to cope with, and recover from, stress?
Environment
I inadvertently discovered the power of what Virginia Wolfe famously called A Room of One’s Own when I quarantined new arrivals. Some cats couldn’t wait to be a part of the giant food bowls, new friends, and festive play areas of the main house. Other cats adored their quiet little room, and often stayed there a while.
It did them good.
Cats are seamlessly woven into their living spaces. Their incredible supersenses reach out into every aspect of their environment, letting them monitor developments and stay alert to delights or dangers. Many of my cats were suffering from Environmental Sizing Disorder. A cage is too small, the world is too big.
Their safe, reliable, predictable, room was just right.
Support
By providing what our cats need, we allow them to explore their world, and feel confident of their place in it. By being a human who reliably brought food and cleaned their litter box, who played with them and offered affection, I reassured them. They had landed in a good place, and they could relax into it.
Cats treasure autonomy. They must feel like they have a handle on their territory situation, and if that means shrinking their territory to a size they can handle… okay. I can do that.
Showing up at reliable times, with reliable care offerings, and showing we want them to be comfortable and happy gives any cat a base to build upon.
Trust
This happy situation goes on long enough, and we and the cat will be banking trust. Trust is about the future.
It goes both ways. By letting apprehensive cats make their own approaches, I show that I trust this cat. I’m not going to make friendship gestures if I worry that they will be misinterpreted. Then my body language communicates this unease to the cat I’m trying to win over.
And then I won’t win them over.
We should always be happy and cheerful, especially if our cat is not. Their state might make us sad, but it is the wrong emotion to show. Happy tells the cat their troubles are over!
Proof
As I explain in The honeymoon syndrome, our cats won’t test boundaries until they are comfortable with more exploration. Once we see our cats playing, grooming, and even getting into things, we know they are feeling at home, at last.
This makes it all the more important that when they do something we don’t like, we let them know in the gentlest way possible.
Recuperation
A cat can never really forget a panicked past, but they can learn to put it in the past. If we can make our home a comfortable and known refuge, our cat may still be prone to anxiety and a buzzsaw at the vet, but will make a delightful companion, anyway.
Our cats became traumatized from the most-likely-real fear for their lives. Letting them know they are in a good place now, with good friends, will slowly erode their most thoughtless reflexes. If we see our cat now considering whether or not to get upset, we know we’ve done a lot for them.
Our kitten Mithrandir is a cuddly little fellow with people he knows, but one stray sound from the wrong place and he’s looking for somewhere to hide. This pattern was set in his very early kittenhood, and he’ll probably always be that way.
But he doesn’t let it get in the way of our relationship. Neither do we.
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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
